The sad tale of Barbie Ellen

Lyrics:

© WanHu
In Scarlet Town, where I was born, there was a fit bird dwellin’
A million likes on instagram, her name was Barbie Ellen
Twas in the merry month of May, the green buds I was sellin’
“My name is Brad McKenzie-oh, I believe you’re Barbie Ellen”.
She bought ten grams, then touched my hand… ah, but some tales are just not for the tellin’.
Suffice to say, I loved that day, with Barbie Fuckin’ Ellen.

“Oh, look for me, my handsome lad, tonight at Big Dave’s party”
I could not find her anywhere, and all Dave’s friends were arty.
Then comes to me a tale of woe, that Barbs, still in her nighty,
Laid pavement pizzas everywhere and had a massive whitey.
She never talked to me again, this girl I would have married
She ghosted me for seven years, we neither danced nor dallied.

And every night, I go to swim and cry into the ocean
And every day spent in the gym, hench poetry in motion
And every hour I wipe my face, of tears and perspiration
And wring my towel into a cup, the droplets of devotion.
For seven years, I watched it fill ,’till nearly overflowin’
And laid it by my empty bed, so I could watch it growin’

I told my story in a vlog, the style was edgy and experimental
And people loved it: pretty soon success was exponential
And I have more followers than her, by far, 10 million and eleven
And now I’m famous as the guy who cries for Barbie Ellen
.I swam in the river on a day strong rain fell from the heavens
The torrents failed to wash away e-coli oh 157

Now I’m lyin’ in my bed, of puke and shit I’m smelling
I’m pretty sure I’ll soon be dead,”Please call for Barbie Ellen”
My followers, as one respond, with tales of my endeavour
“You must heed Bradley’s last request” And Barbie sighed “Whatever”
And slowly, slowly did she rise And slowly she drew nigh me
And all she said, when by my bed, “Young man, I think you’re dyin’”

“I could be well, free from this hell, one kiss from you would cure me”
“I can’t kiss you, old shitey pants, the stench would overwhelm me”
“What’s this?” She sneered,”Your loopy juice?” “It would be wasted on you”
With that she raised my cup of tears and drank it in one swallow
“Yeuch, what was that? It’s absolutely minging!”
I could not tell her “Tears and sweat and ecoli-oh 157”

I turned my face unto the wall, “let death be my dominion
Adieu, adieu dear followers, be kind to Barbie Ellen”
Last thing I heard on this green Earth was Barbie Ellen screaming
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, the bastard was live streaming!”
She ran back home and cried alone her phone would not stop pinging
A thousand comments every hour “Hard-hearted Barbie Ellen”

Her social media accounts were swamped with trolls and guys mansplaining
That Brad was just misunderstood by cruel Barbie Ellen
When Barbie died, she died alone, she could not quell the frenzy
To bury her next to her love, the famous Brad McKenzie
From Barbie’s grave grew a climbing rose, variety Bathsheba
From Brad’s there grew a single bloom of Cannabis Sativa

They reached together for the light; symbolism for the simple minded
They grew around and inbetween, forever intertwineded.


Based on "Barbara Allen" Trad arr. Wanhu (I've always wanted to write that)
Copyright W Ian Young (Wanhu) 10.05.26