Thirty Foot Jesus

When my momma died she didn't leave much,
'Cept a pretty heavy medical bill,
But her lawyer called up,
Saying "Come on over,
'Cause there's something you were left in the will."

Swung around there just to take a good look,
And out standing on the edge of her drive,
Was a thirty foot, plastic,
Statue of Jesus,
I had never seen when mom was alive.

Chained the thing up on the bed of my truck,
It's about the only thing I could do,
And when the sun went down,
At around about eight,
I found out that it was luminous too.

Thirty foot luminous plastic Jesus,
Truckin' on through the night,
Makin' our way back home on the highway,
Musta been a helluva sight.

Took it downtown on the very next day,
And I tried to find a buyer somewhere,
I figured that a church,
Oughta be the best place,
But I couldn't get a taker round there.

Quakers where aghast, the Catholics passed,
And the Baptists were a definite "no",
(They already had one,
That was ten feet taller),
And the Mormons didn't bother to show.

It's still on e-Bay if you wanna bid,
Though it's getting kinda popular here,
'Cause people come around,
Just to say it a prayer,
And I only charge a bottle of beer.

Thirty foot luminous plastic Jesus,
Shinin' on through the night,
Callin' the faithful down to my driveway,
Bringing me a Michelob Light.

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Thats a cool tale.

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Thanks CB, appreciate the FB <3 - it's one of those I hoped would raise a smile. :)

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