My father favoured villainy or so I have been told,
He loved it when they screamed just like the music halls of old,
He left my poor old mother tied up on the railroad track,
He wasn't being evil he was off his nut on crack.
I joined the household cavalry to guard the dear old queen,
We trooped the colour round the town delighted to be seen,
We'd party in the barracks when the regiment got back,
We took those shiny boots off and got off our nuts on crack.
Then after that a seminary trained me as a priest,
They taught me how to calculate the number of the beast,
So when I sat confessional I'd always have the knack,
Of knowing which parishioners were off their nuts on crack.
When I'd become a Cardinal a call came to my home,
They needed my assistance to elect a Pope in Rome,
The only smoke the faithful saw for seven days was black,
We weren't prevaricating we were off our nuts on crack.
Elected then to parliament I fitted in so well,
Surrounded by so many others also bound for hell,
I left there on that fateful day that "Big Dog" got the sack,
He wasn't just a liar he was off his nut on crack.
And now I'm in technology and pretty good at it,
I've formed a lot of companies and sold a lot of sh*t,
I devised the pricing structure for the Apple Mac,
It works because the customers are off their nuts on crack.
I've got big old mansion and I drive a flashy car,
I think I'm worth around a hundred million so far,
I couldn't really say that there's a single thing I lack,
So I sit here writing lyrics for you off my nut on crack.
He loved it when they screamed just like the music halls of old,
He left my poor old mother tied up on the railroad track,
He wasn't being evil he was off his nut on crack.
I joined the household cavalry to guard the dear old queen,
We trooped the colour round the town delighted to be seen,
We'd party in the barracks when the regiment got back,
We took those shiny boots off and got off our nuts on crack.
Then after that a seminary trained me as a priest,
They taught me how to calculate the number of the beast,
So when I sat confessional I'd always have the knack,
Of knowing which parishioners were off their nuts on crack.
When I'd become a Cardinal a call came to my home,
They needed my assistance to elect a Pope in Rome,
The only smoke the faithful saw for seven days was black,
We weren't prevaricating we were off our nuts on crack.
Elected then to parliament I fitted in so well,
Surrounded by so many others also bound for hell,
I left there on that fateful day that "Big Dog" got the sack,
He wasn't just a liar he was off his nut on crack.
And now I'm in technology and pretty good at it,
I've formed a lot of companies and sold a lot of sh*t,
I devised the pricing structure for the Apple Mac,
It works because the customers are off their nuts on crack.
I've got big old mansion and I drive a flashy car,
I think I'm worth around a hundred million so far,
I couldn't really say that there's a single thing I lack,
So I sit here writing lyrics for you off my nut on crack.
