I think I'm coming down with something if I tell the truth,
Disease is all around me but I try to stay aloof,
My hair is turning yellow and my face is turning red,
And every single honest thought has vanished from my head,
My suit no longer fits me and my shirt is hanging out,
And when I try to talk it's only nonsense I can spout,
I went to see the Doctor and I told her how I've been,
She said;- "You've got the 'Boris Johnsons' it's the worst I've ever seen."
I don't know how I caught it and I gather there's no cure,
(I read that one on Facebook so I know it's true for sure),
My head looks like a patch of weeds dishevelled by a storm,
Surrounded by a gang of toadies that I had to form,
I'm totally convinced that every foreigner is bad,
I think the poor are lazy and the Scots are flippin' mad,
There's one law for the likes of me another one for you,
I've got the 'Boris Johnsons' hell! what am I going to do?
It's getting me dismissed from jobs for telling porky pies,
I've had to find a senior post where none of that applies,
So now I'm making "road maps" that all lead direct to hell,
(I'm basing them on Brexit because that's screwed up as well),
I've made myself a five-point plan that only has four parts,
And plenty of excuses for when all the trouble starts,
I deceive my closest colleagues and the public just the same,
When you've got the 'Boris Johnsons' you can never take the blame.
But then life is just a chat show and the way to win the prize,
Is ignore the consequences and continue telling lies,
So let's just tell the gullible the things they want to hear,
In the certain knowledge they'll forget them by next year,
I hear the boffins made a vaccine - what's that all about?
A needle goes in to your arm and all the lies come out?
It all sounds good on paper but there's got to be some pain,
If they cure the 'Boris Johnsons' I'll be out of work again!!!!
Disease is all around me but I try to stay aloof,
My hair is turning yellow and my face is turning red,
And every single honest thought has vanished from my head,
My suit no longer fits me and my shirt is hanging out,
And when I try to talk it's only nonsense I can spout,
I went to see the Doctor and I told her how I've been,
She said;- "You've got the 'Boris Johnsons' it's the worst I've ever seen."
I don't know how I caught it and I gather there's no cure,
(I read that one on Facebook so I know it's true for sure),
My head looks like a patch of weeds dishevelled by a storm,
Surrounded by a gang of toadies that I had to form,
I'm totally convinced that every foreigner is bad,
I think the poor are lazy and the Scots are flippin' mad,
There's one law for the likes of me another one for you,
I've got the 'Boris Johnsons' hell! what am I going to do?
It's getting me dismissed from jobs for telling porky pies,
I've had to find a senior post where none of that applies,
So now I'm making "road maps" that all lead direct to hell,
(I'm basing them on Brexit because that's screwed up as well),
I've made myself a five-point plan that only has four parts,
And plenty of excuses for when all the trouble starts,
I deceive my closest colleagues and the public just the same,
When you've got the 'Boris Johnsons' you can never take the blame.
But then life is just a chat show and the way to win the prize,
Is ignore the consequences and continue telling lies,
So let's just tell the gullible the things they want to hear,
In the certain knowledge they'll forget them by next year,
I hear the boffins made a vaccine - what's that all about?
A needle goes in to your arm and all the lies come out?
It all sounds good on paper but there's got to be some pain,
If they cure the 'Boris Johnsons' I'll be out of work again!!!!
+3
